Emaks iseendale
 |
| Linda kivi kandmas/Linda Carrying a Stone, Oskar Kallis 1917 |
Maikuu tõi emadepäeva koos lillekimpude ja
mõtetega meie emadele. Minule oli see meeldetuletuseks mu esimesest emata
emadepäevast. Arutlesin sellest, milline ema olen ma iseendale.
Kas on see osa minust hoolitsev ja armastav või
kipub sealt ainult kriitikat kostma?
Kas mul üldse on teadlik ühendus selle osaga
iseendas?
Kas mu “sisemisel emal” on kannatlikkust mu
“sisemise lapsega”, kes vahel ka jonnida tahab? Või on see laps talle ainult
koormaks?
Kas leian ma iseendas selle paiga, mida Lydia
Koidula kirjeldas “Ema südames”:
Üks paigake siin ilmas on,
kus varjul truudus, arm ja
õnn;
kõik, mis nii harv siin
ilma peal,
on pelgupaiga leidnud seal.
Mother to myself
The month of May brought another
Mother’s Day, filled with the bouquets of flowers and brunches with families.
For me, this was the first time without my mom. It was the day to remind me to
look for my Inner Mother and explore my relationship with her.
I wondered if this part in me is
loving and caring?
Or is she critical and nagging?
Am I burden or joy for her?
Is she able to be patient with the
tantrums of my Inner Child?
Do I trust my connection with the Great
Mother?
Have I faith in her support for me?
And the
Great Mother said:
Come my
child and give me all that you are.
I am not
afraid of your strength and darkness, of your fear and pain.
Give me
your tears. They will be my rushing rivers and roaring oceans…
Give me
your rage. It will erupt into my molten volcanoes and rolling thunder.
Give me
your tired spirit. I will lay it to rest in my soft meadows.
Give me
your hopes and dreams. I will plant a field of sunflowers and arch rainbows in
the sky.
You are
not too much for me. My arms and heart welcome your true fullness.
There is
room in my world for all of you, all that you are…
From “Homecoming” by Linda Reuther
