Reflections / Peegeldused

 PEEGELDUSED

Suvine palavus toob meid tihti vee äärde. Vesi jahutab ja rahustab. Vesi oli ka inimkonna ajaloo esimene peegel. Mida me mõtleme, kui peeglisse vaatame?

Narcissos nägi end allikavees ja armus oma peegeldusse. Lumivalgukese võõrasema tahtis aga korduvalt kinnitust, et just tema on see kõige kaunim maailmas.

Lapsele on tema ema esimeseks peegliks – ema kaudu õpime me tundma iseennast ja oma ümbritsevat maailma. Kahjuks tuleb tavaelus sageli ette, et peegeldus emalt tuleb tagasi pigem kui kõverpeeglist: on siis see ülearuse kriitikana või vastupidi, liigse imetlusena või hoopis otsib ta alateadlikult oma peegeldust lapses. Emalt saame silmadele “filtrid” mille läbi end näeme.

Millise pilguga vaatame end - on see kriitiline, ilma kiituseta ja alati rohkemat nõudev?

On selles halvustavat lootusetust?

Või leebet leplikkust?

Kas tunneme oma häid külgi sama hästi kui vajaka jäämisi?

Tihti aitavad meie lähedased meil iseennast tundma õppida – ärritades meid või vastupidi, kutsudes esile imetluse. Psühholoogias kutsutakse seda projektsiooniks – näeme teistes oma omadusi või käitumist, mida kas iseendas ei taha või ei saa näha.

Kes on meile meie elus peegliteks ja mida nad peegeldavad?

Eile oli mu meel nagu meri –

Peegelselge. Maailma põhi

Peaaegu paistis ära.

Täna on mu meel nagu meri –                            

tormab ja tormab, sõge,

Kuhugi jõudmata.

            Doris Kareva

REFLECTIONS

Summer heat brings us often close to the water. Water cools us and calms us. Water was also the very first mirror in human history. What comes to our mind when we look into mirror?

Narcissus in Greek mythology fell in love with his reflection in the spring water. Snow White’s evil stepmother kept demanding reassurance from her mirror that she was the most beautiful in the world.

For a child, her mother is the first mirror in her life – through her, she learns to know herself and the world around her. Unfortunately, in real life, mirroring from mother is often distorted – filled with toxic criticism or the other way around, blind admiration of her child. Sometimes, when a mother has not had proper mirroring in her own childhood, this mother tries to find her own reflection in her child.

From this early experience, we receive the “filters” we see us through.

How do we see ourselves?

Is our mirror demanding and critical, never accepting?

Is it filled with diminshing hopelessness?

Or is it with kindness and acceptance?

Do we see our gifts as well as our flaws?

People close to us are supporting us in the process of knowing ourselves better through “making us mad” or bringing out admiration. In psychological language, this process is called projection – we recongnize our unwanted or unknown behaviours and qualities in others.

Who are the mirrors in our lives?

What do they reflect to us?

Yesterday my mind was like the sea –

As clear as a mirror. The bottom of the world

Was almost visible.

Today my mind is like the sea –

Storming and rushing, mindless,

unable to get anywhere.

Doris Kareva, Tiina Alemani tõlkes