PEEGELDUSED
Suvine
palavus toob meid tihti vee äärde. Vesi jahutab ja rahustab. Vesi oli ka
inimkonna ajaloo esimene peegel. Mida me mõtleme, kui peeglisse vaatame?
Narcissos nägi
end allikavees ja armus oma peegeldusse. Lumivalgukese võõrasema tahtis aga
korduvalt kinnitust, et just tema on see kõige kaunim maailmas.
Lapsele on tema
ema esimeseks peegliks – ema kaudu õpime me tundma iseennast ja oma ümbritsevat
maailma. Kahjuks tuleb tavaelus sageli ette, et peegeldus emalt tuleb tagasi
pigem kui kõverpeeglist: on siis see ülearuse kriitikana või vastupidi, liigse
imetlusena või hoopis otsib ta alateadlikult oma peegeldust lapses. Emalt saame
silmadele “filtrid” mille läbi end näeme.
Millise
pilguga vaatame end - on see kriitiline, ilma kiituseta ja alati rohkemat nõudev?
On selles
halvustavat lootusetust?
Või leebet
leplikkust?
Kas tunneme
oma häid külgi sama hästi kui vajaka jäämisi?
Tihti
aitavad meie lähedased meil iseennast tundma õppida – ärritades meid või
vastupidi, kutsudes esile imetluse. Psühholoogias kutsutakse seda
projektsiooniks – näeme teistes oma omadusi või käitumist, mida kas iseendas ei
taha või ei saa näha.
Kes on meile
meie elus peegliteks ja mida nad peegeldavad?
Eile oli mu meel nagu
meri –
Peegelselge. Maailma
põhi
Peaaegu paistis ära.
Täna on mu meel nagu meri –
tormab ja tormab, sõge,
Kuhugi jõudmata.
Doris
Kareva
REFLECTIONS
Summer heat brings us
often close to the water. Water cools us and calms us. Water was also the very
first mirror in human history. What comes to our mind when we look into mirror?
Narcissus in Greek mythology
fell in love with his reflection in the spring water. Snow White’s evil
stepmother kept demanding reassurance from her mirror that she was the most
beautiful in the world.
For a child, her mother
is the first mirror in her life – through her, she learns to know herself and
the world around her. Unfortunately, in real life, mirroring from mother is
often distorted – filled with toxic criticism or the other way around, blind
admiration of her child. Sometimes, when a mother has not had proper
mirroring in her own childhood, this mother tries to find her own reflection in her
child.
From this early
experience, we receive the “filters” we see us through.
How do we see ourselves?
Is our mirror demanding
and critical, never accepting?
Is it filled with
diminshing hopelessness?
Or is it with kindness
and acceptance?
Do we see our gifts as
well as our flaws?
People close to us are
supporting us in the process of knowing ourselves better through “making us
mad” or bringing out admiration. In psychological language, this process is
called projection – we recongnize our unwanted or unknown behaviours and
qualities in others.
Who are the mirrors in
our lives?
What do they reflect to
us?
Yesterday my mind was like the sea –
As clear as a mirror. The bottom of the world
Was almost visible.
Today my mind is like the sea –
Storming and rushing, mindless,
unable to get anywhere.
Doris Kareva, Tiina Alemani tõlkes
