Ode For A New Beginning / Ood uuele algusele

Jüri Arrak, Ükssarv 1993

Ood uuele algusele

Kuigi kalendriaasta on vahetunud, on minu jaoks uue aasta algus veninud nagu aastaaegade vaheldumine Eestis viimasel ajal. Nii loodus kui ka sisemaailm ei allu pelgalt meie tahtele: nagu seemned vajavad idanemiseks aega ja soodsaid tingimusi, nii on ka uutel mõtetel ning tegudel tarvis küpseda enne materialiseerumist.

Varalahkunud Iiri poeet ja filosoof John O’Donohue tuletab meile meelde, et vaatamata turvatunde ahvatlustele ning igapäevarutiini hallidele lubadustele, on kuskil meie sügaval südamesopis peidus see uus algus, kannatlikult ootamas õiget momenti, mil meil on piisavalt julgust ja seiklusvalmidust astuda uuele teerajale.

Mis on minu elust “välja kasvanud”, millest ma ainult harjumuse tõttu kinni hoian?

Mis on need “turvatunde ahelad”, mis ei lase mind liikudale uutele radadele?

Mida ma ootan sellelt uuelt aastalt oma sügaval südames (kuid, võibolla, ei julge isegi endale tunnistada)?

Millised unistused olen ma “peitu pannud”?

Mis või kes aitaks mul neid unistusi jälle ellu äratada? 
Või on hoopis aeg uued unistused nende asemele tuua?

….sest su hing teab, et maailm ootab sind!

Ode For A New Beginning

Numbers in the calendar mark the beginning of a new year, yet I am holding onto the old routine and habits. While my hand refuses to write those new dates I am wondering what are my “seductions of safety and the gray promises of sameness”?

I know that my dreams and heart’s desires need time to gestate like seeds in the earth and still, something in the depths of my heart is waiting a bit impatiently already for me to have courage to step onto new path.

More questions surface:

Which are my routine habits that support only my survival fears?

What is not working anymore in my life?

What am I expecting from this new year, maybe hesitant even to admit it to myself?

Which of my dreams have I hidden and set aside?

Who and/or what could help to make them come into life again?

Or is it time to let them go and create new ones?

A blessing from Irish poet and philosopher John O'Donohue:

FOR A NEW BEGINNING

In out-of-the-way places of the heart,

Where your thoughts never think to wander,

This beginning has been quietly forming,

Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire,

Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,

Noticing how you willed yourself on,

Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety

And the gray promises that sameness whispered,

Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,

Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,

And out you stepped onto new ground,

Your eyes young again with energy and dream,

A path of plenitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not yet clear

You can trust the promise of this opening;

Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning

That is at one with your life’s desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure;

Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk

Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,

For your soul senses the world that awaits you.