Ootamine
 |
| Ülo Sooster, Punane muna, 1964 |
Kevad annab endast teada
lindude laulu ja vastavanenud õitega, ometigi pole ilm veel “paigas”,
ähvardades Eestis lumesajuga ning ehmatadees Californias suvise kuumalainega.
Loodus on tasapisi talvist puhkuseperioodi selja taha jätmas, et uue hooga
kasvada ja õitseda.
Kaasaegne läänemaailma
elu tahaks kõike kohe saada ja internet annab sellele hoogu juurde.
Kiirustamine on kõikjal, suunates meid lineaarselt edasi ja ettepoole. Ometigi
areneb elu tihtipeale mitmekesisemalt ja loovamalt just tänu tagasitõmbumisele
ja ootamisele – seemneid ei saa sundida idanema ja laps emaüsas tahab 9 kuud
kasvamiseks.
Missugune on mu
reaktsioon, kui pean ootama kas järjekorras või telefonil, bussi või hoopis oma
kaaslast kohvikus? Mida ma mõtlen ja milliseid tundeid see esile kutsub?
Milline on mu suhe
ajaga? On mul aega küllaga või jääb alati puudu?
Kas mul jätkub aega
iseenda jaoks?
Kas ma luban iseendale
“idanemisperioodi”, et mu loovus saaks omasoodu areneda?
Mida ma teeksin, kui ma
saaksin endale piiramata aega, et uut eluperioodi ette valmistada?
Kanada poetess, muusik ja unenägudes rändaja
Toko-pa ütleb:
On olemas ootamine, mis teab, et
eemaletõmbumise läbi
saab tagasi tulla täielikumalt …
Waiting
Birds are singing and letting us know about approaching spring, yet the weather is taking unexpected turns – promising snow in Estonia and shocking us with heatwave in California. Nature is opening to growth and blossoms after resting in winter time but not in a linear way. There is step forward and then one or backwards, some waiting in between.
Our contemporary Western way of life pushes us to speed, to have everything right now. And internet is a great support for that. But in the middle of instant gratification we tend to lose the ability to wait, to gestate and, as a result, our creative ideas might be born in premature state or be even aborted entirely.
How do I respond to a need to wait?
What arises in me when being on hold on phone or waiting for a friend in restaurant?
How do I relate to time? Have I got enough time or am I always a bit behind?
Have I got time for myself and for my creative ideas to gestate?
What would I do if I’d have unlimited time to prepare for a new period in my life?
Canadian writer, musician, dreamworker Toko-Pa says:
There is a good kind of waiting
which trusts the agents of fermentation.
There is a waiting
which knows that in pulling away
one can more wholly return.
There is the waiting
which prepares oneself,
which anoints and adorns
and makes oneself plump
with readiness for love’s return.
There is a good kind of waiting
which doesn’t put oneself on hold
but rather adds layers to the grandness
of one’s being worthy.
This sweet waiting
for one’s fruits to ripen
doesn’t stumble over itself
to be the first to give
but waits for the giving
to issue at its own graceful pace.
2014 © Toko-pa Turner
