Pimeduse
hellus
 |
| Kristjan Raud, Tähtede all (1907-1909) |
Põhjapoolkerale
on saabunud aasta pimedaim aeg. Meie esivanematele oli see kutseks tõmbuda
sissepoole, vaikusesse. Looduski puhkab praegu. Läänemaailma parodoksaalses
tänapäevas aga on see aeg paljudele kujunenud hoopis kiirustamiseks ja tormamiseks
poodides ning pidudeks ette valmistumisteks.
Ka
minule oli pimeduse teemal kirjutamine katsumuseks: iga kord, kui laua taha
istusin, tõmbas midagi väljastpoolt mu tähelepanu endale. Kuigi pimedusel ja
vaikusel on sarnasus emaüsaga, mille pehmus ning hellus toetavad uue elu
arenemisprotsessi, on see ka hirmutav – ikka jääb kummitama igavene küsimus:
kas ma leian pimedusest ka tee tagasi? Muinaslugudes kangelastele ja
kangelannadele antud raskeimaiks katsumuseks oli tihtipeale allmaailma külastamine,
kust teekond tagasi oli täis varitsevaid ohtusid. Samas, just see retk
pimedusse aitas neil jõuda millegi tõeliselt väärtuslikuni.
Mis
või kes on minu “deemonid”, kellega kohtumist pimedas pelgan?
Mis
on see aare, mida loodan leida?
Millised
kohustused võib see endaga kaasa tuua?
Kuidas see mu praegust elu muudab?
Inglise-Ameerika
poeet T.S. Eliot ütleb: “Ma ütlesin oma hingele, ole tasa ja lase pimedusel
tulla enda üle, see on pimedus Loojast…”
Sweet Darkness
It is the darkest
time of the year in Northern hemisphere: nature is resting and inviting us too
to slow down. For our ancestors, this was the time to contemplate and turn
inward.
In our
contemporary Western world, this time is often about rushing from one place to
another, shopping and preparing for parties.
Even writing
about the darkness became a struggle for me – every time when I sat down to
write, something else seemed more important or I got lost in the temptations of
the internet.
Although the dark
in nature is like the mother’s womb that creates a protective container for new
life to emerge – it is also frightening: would I find my way back from darkness?
The most difficult task given to heroes and heroines of fairy tales and myths
was the visit to the dark underworld. Both the path to it and the way back were
filled with challenges and monsters. Yet, the completion of this journey helped
them to find their precious goal.
Who or what are
my demons and monsters that I am afraid to meet in the dark?
What is the
treasure I am set to find or bring with me?
Which responsibilities
this treasure places on my?
How would this
change my current life?
British American
poet T.S Eliot says:
I said to my soul, be still, and let the
dark come upon you
Which shall be the darkness of God. ….
…I said to my soul, be still, and wait without
hope,
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait
without
love
For love would be love of the wrong thing;
there is yet faith.
But the faith and love and the hope are all in
the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for
thought:
So the darkness shall be the light and the
stillness the
dancing.
